This Notion of Endless Happiness

This notion of unbroken “happiness”,
Seems to me a terrible misguidance.
This, of course, is simply my view,
Not to be confused with “Truth”.
Perhaps I've simply not yet come,
To that place of endlessly unbroken,
Peace, happiness, and joy.

But for me, “happiness” seems the wrong word,
And never the real intention, I suspect,
Of the many faiths, the many beliefs
The many philosophical systems.
I suspect, instead, that what is meant,
Is a Fullness and Richness of Heart,
In all circumstances and conditions.

My experience of the Divine Presence,
Is not a “happy” affair, or peaceful, or joyful,
But, rather, Ecstatic and Rapturous,
Containing "everything all at once",
And yet, from a different stance,
Containing nothing whatsoever,
Of the opposites of agony and ecstasy.

It is not of this world of joy and sorrow,
Peace and travail,
Happiness and sadness,
Or any of the myriad aspects,
That arise in our dualistic experience,
Pleasurable or unpleasant,
Here in this Dream of Heaven and Hell.

When an old Friend passed away,
I sat on my porch, sobbing inconsolably,
While with each breath, each heartbeat,
Breathing sorrow, beating sorrow,
My Heart, like an Ocean of Grace,
Rolled forth wave upon wave upon wave,
Of Her Rapturous Ecstasy.

Confounding? Yes.

When I see sorrow and weariness,
In the eyes of a stranger,
Or witness the suffering of this world,
I am not peaceful, happy, or joyful.
What word to use for this Presence that endures,
There, in the heartbreak of witnessing,
And the actions taken through Compassion.

Sublimity... in the midst of happiness or despair.

Her Presence is Rich and Warm,
As if I am being Loved, by no one I can see,
As if I am being Held, by no one I can see,
As if I am in Rapturous Union,
With a Lover, formless and unlocatable,
Whether I laugh, whether I cry,
No matter the "weather", inner or outer.

She is like the Blissful Sky,
From which, within which, as which,
The ever-changing weather of manifestation,
Moves in serenity or turbulence,
Like clouds appearing from nowhere,
Roiling for a time in delight or sorrow,
Then vanishing whence they came.

So when I hear teachers speak,
Of endless “peace, happiness, and joy”,
My head tilts like a confused puppy,
And my brow crinkles, bemused.
How nice for them, if it is so.
For me… there is Bliss when I hold Her hand,
And Ecstasy, Unimaginable, Inexpressible…

When we Embrace.

These accompany me,
Through the ebb and flow of peace,
The coming and going of happiness,
The transient movements of joy,
Through the ever-changing weather,
Of existence as a manifest Being.