The Salt Doll "I"

At first, everything simply… was.
There was seeing, hearing,
Touching, tasting, smelling.

No felt sense, at all,
Of seer, hearer,
Toucher, taster, smeller.

Then… the advent of words,
Naming and describing,
All that was.

And suddenly there were countless,
Where not even one,
Had existed.

Where space had never been,
“Here and there”
Suddenly appeared,

And “i”, the one,
Sitting here, not there,

Where time had never been,
“Now and then”
Suddenly appeared,

And “i”, remembering past,
And imagining future,

Where “i” and “other” had not been known,
A world of infinite other
Suddenly appeared,

And “i”, utterly alone,
Among all of these…

When space, time, and objects appeared,
From timeless, spaceless, objectless Aliveness,
“i” became a “thing” alive.

A subtle sense at first,
Never noticed in its arising,
Came “i”.

“i”, the seer, hearer,
Toucher, taster, smeller,
Perceiver, experiencer.

“i”… the person.

And all too soon forgotten…
The Innocence,
Before “i” was born.

“i” learned ever more “about”,
The world, out there,
And “i”, in here.

Good and bad,
The world…
And “i”.

Qualified, quantified,
The world…
And “i”.

A grain of salt here… “Good boy!”
A grain of salt there… “Bad boy!”
And the salt doll “i” took form.

Stature, fame.
Guilt, and shame,
defined “me”.

And over time,
Each tiny grain of salt forgotten…
The salt doll as a “thing” became real to itself.

“i”… not only a thought,
“Imagined” and believed,
But a Feeling, across the Whole of Being.

Dukkha, Buddha called it.
The inherent unease and dissatisfaction
Of existing as… “i”.

An unhappiness,
In the Heart of Being,
Ever present… inescapable.

How much I have written,
About the salt doll's journey

How very long it took for “i” to sense,
Its very existence to be
The Wellspring of Sorrow.

How “i” turned, thirsting near death,
Toward the Fragrance of Living Water,
And began the long walk from desert to Shore.

And how, arriving there,
Unable to bear existence
One moment longer…

“i” walked into the Waves of Dissolution,

To Death…
Unto Life,
As the Ocean of Pure Being.

“i” now vanished, “I” remain,
Not a “thing” alive,
But Life Itself.

Having never moved,
From whence the salt doll came.