I read the other day,
“All that need be done is to ‘notice’.”
My Life Experience does not agree.
I can only say that for me,
It was not a matter simply of “noticing”,
Of “Understanding”, or of intellectual clarity.
I saw clearly, upon first investigation,
And for thereafter, with Diamond-like Clarity,
That I do not exist as an object…
Although existing occurs… Existence… Is.
That “fact” was irrefutable.
I need only turn my wandering Attention,
Inward, in search of its Source.
There was no little man inside this head,
Seeing, hearing, touching, tasting…
There was no object-perceiver-experiencer,
Anywhere to be found, within,
In the Formless Aliveness I found myself to be.
But this Apperception, this “noticing”,
Did not, for so very many years,
Remove the “Felt” sense of “I”…
Within the Somatic aspect of Being.
“Knowing” full well that I was not an object,
I continued to “Feel” that I was,
The somatic contraction of “I”, not yet released.
The remnants of the salt doll “I”, not yet dissolved.
While the Mind reveled in Liberation,
And the Heart, Illumined, Danced in Bliss,
“I” remained in the Body, like a virus.
Until one day… Poof!
Why did that ancient somatic contraction,
That Felt Sense, vanish that day,
After so many long years?
I will only say, with fair certainty…
It was not merely the ripening of knowledge.
Not simply the product of “noticing”,
For understanding alone had proven to be…
A debit card without a PIN.
And I will say, with fair certainty…
That in addition to the Fruition of Mind,
The PIN required, and was found,
In the concurrent Blossoming of the Heart…
In the Love that first moved…
My weary Heart, into to ever deepening Longing,
My weary Mind, into ever deepening Unknowing.
And in time, through the Fruition and Blossoming,
Of both Heart and Mind,
The somatic remnants of the Salt Doll “I”…
Dissolved in the Union of those two Rivers.