Here in the Wilderness,
Lost in The Great Unknowable,
I found myself unable to stop,
Building lean-tos.
Lean-tos of understanding,
Even if that understanding,
Was that nothing, really,
Can ever be “understood”.
I could not seem to help myself,
From the innate human tendency,
To erect a shelter, however small,
From This Great Mystery.
In my life I have taken refuge,
In villages of many faiths,
Walled and well ordered,
Against the Unutterable.
So few there,
Dared come close,
To the foreboding gates,
Beyond which…
Beyond which…
All beliefs are questioned.
Beyond which…
Faith might be weakened.
Where…
In a Pathless Wilderness,
Devouring all certitude,
The “Monster” of the Unknowable roams.
I understand,
For my fear, too, was crippling.
And walking even near the gate,
I grew faint of heart, and turned away.
But in each village,
Again and again,
I would eventually approach,
And push open those Fearful Gates.
I was moved to such heroism,
Not only by the desolation of belief,
Or the withering of faith,
But by… Longing.
Longing for that,
Which remained unfulfilled,
In Heart and Mind,
Across the Whole of Being.
Longing for that which,
Unable to be articulated,
Even within myself,
Was Known, as the Heart's Desire.
An Ancient Longing,
Ancient beyond time,
For Fullness, Completion,
And… Love.
I stepped out from village walls,
And resumed, with lonely steps,
The Great Journey I'd begun,
When first… I Wondered.
I wandered forth into The Wild,
Abandoning all and everything,
With only the Fellowship…
Of my Own Beloved Heart.
Far from the village,
Road vanished into path…
Path vanished into hillside…
Hillside vanished into Vastness…
The Known vanished…
Into Wonder.
And each time, in time,
As I wandered forth,
Beneath the crushing Vastness,
Of the Infinite Heavens…
I forgot where “I” ended, and Heaven began.
And each time, in time,
As I wandered forth,
Having become indecipherable,
From the Earth upon which I sat…
I forgot where “I” ended, and Earth began.
And then…
Each time, in time…
There arose the movement of Mind,
Reaching slowly for a word,
To begin building…
A lean-to.
A lean-to of understanding,
Even if that understanding,
Is that nothing, really,
Can ever be “understood”.
How does one come to the Heart's Desire,
When understanding and knowledge fail,
And lost and alone, one wanders,
From the village of the known?
How does one survive,
Much less come to Fruition,
In a Pathless Wilderness
Of Crushing Unknowability?
Surrender.
Drop that stick.
Abandon all shelter.
And Die of Exposure…
To Love.
