The Jasmine Lover
How Deliciously Devious,
To lure a Jasmine Lover,
Luring us instead, Within…
Where, after having longed for Embrace,
Ourself, the Lover,
And only Love remaining.
There was a period of time when I meditated several times each week with a spiritual Friend. She was very devotional by nature, and enjoyed the inner stance of the Lover. That's not to say that she didn't also possess a brilliant mind. But her Heart was so full of longing for the Beloved that at one point in her sadhana, when she would begin her spiritual practices, she would find herself unable to proceed, falling over onto the floor, sobbing uncontrollably for long periods.
Over a particular two-weeks, we had an interesting dialog about the nature of the Absolute, Unalloyed Ananda-Bliss of Sat·Chit·Ananda, in which Lover and Beloved vanish in the Absolute Fulfillment of Love's Longing.
She was having none of it.
Initially, she was dismissive, stating that she simply had no desire to become anything other than the Lover. Everyone must be Free to follow their Heart. But I continued to express, simply in the context of two friends chatting, the nature of nondual Anandam.
Over the course of our time meditating together, I'd seen that whatever aspect of the Great Matter we were discussing outwardly would also, through a mystical alchemy, come to fruition inwardly. The aspect would not simply be clarified and understood by the mind, or simply felt by the Heart, but would be “apperceived” across the Whole of the Being. Words spoke to the mind, but the wordless emanation of that which was being spoken of transformed from the inside out.
If such statements, pointing toward “mystical alchemy, transmission, or emanation”, raise the hackles of my advaitic friends… so be it. There are many paths to God. Let all be Free.
During the second week, her protestations continued. She quoted Ramakrishna, stating that she would, “Rather taste sugar than be sugar.” I understood completely. But I also knew the Absolute, Unalloyed Ecstasy of timeless, spaceless, objectless Pure Being, in which the Absolute Fulfillment of Love's Longing can only be spoken of as… Heaven.
During the second week the dialog continued, in words and in meditation. She was unyielding in her stance and, perhaps tiring of a discussion in which she was losing interest, even became somewhat obstinate. Seeing this, and understanding that Absolute Love can only be experienced directly, I felt it was perhaps time to move on from this subject.
But toward the end of that second week, we opened our eyes after a meditation, and she turned very calmly and, after a brief pause, said softly, “I understand.” That was all she said, and I remained quiet, for I knew that she had, indeed experienced the Union of Shiva and Shakti, the Lover, and the Beloved, and that there was no further need of words.
Our longing and our search begin in the dream of duality, with thoughts and feelings about The Beloved. But as my teacher, Jean Klein, once told me, “In time, the Lover and the Beloved become One. Count on it!”
Was it the words that were spoken over the course of those two weeks? Had my beautiful Friend become “convinced”? Or, was it the wordless, formless transmission of that which was being spoken of; the words (Shakti) arising from, and imbued with, wordless, formless Love (Shiva)?