If, When, After

If the Love I sought had been outside of me,
There would have been no hope of finding it,
For I never had the legs of an outward seeker.

If it had been bound to the prerequisites of scripture,
All would have been lost from the start,
For I enjoy so much that they say one should not.

If renunciation and discipline had been required,
I would have wandered, forever, the land of the Lost,
For the need to do and not do, always broke my Heart.

If the perfecting of practice and technique were essential,
I would have been expelled in the first trimester,
For I was, from birth, a Delinquent of Requirement.

If the perfection of the "person" had been necessary,
This libertine would never have entered the Gates of Heaven,
For I felt, from birth, a Love beyond all conditions.

If Love had not proven the very Essence of What I Am,
This “I” that wanders the dream of space and time
Would never have found its way Home.

If, when, after…
These are the shackles that bind the Hearts,
Of those seeking the Conditionless within Conditionality.

What Grace it was, that drove me Within,
Where Vanishing, The Beloved was revealed,
As Home, as Heaven, as the Essence of…

I Am.