“I Am” Before “I” Am

The Quest, as I knew it, was not “religious”,
But outside of those walled confines.
In fact, I railed against The Great Traditions,
For telling us of Heaven and “enlightenment”,
And then denying them to those of us,
Lacking in the requisite virtues.

For only the meritorious “attain”,
Only the disciplined “transcend”,
Only the “worthy” may enter,
Only those who “understand” will see,
Only those who “believe” are Blessed.

Rather, it was turning within, with all my Heart,
In search of Formless, Unmanifest “I”,
Before manifest “I” and the world arose,
That took me to Heaven;
An inward turning which resulted,
In the Absolute Vanishing of all duality…

Revealing I Am, without “I”.

It was, in a sense, what I Am,
Before “I” and the world appear,
But again, not rightly “I Am”, at all,
For there was no sense, at all,
Of a formless “something”,
Aware only of ItSelf.

No thing at all alive, but only… Aliveness… Life.

After the fact, I pondered,
As it seems all who have Vanished do,
About “what” it was that had remained,
At the End of all Creation,
And “what” it was that lingered here;
This touch of Heaven's Rapture…

In the Heart of “I”, this Manifest Being.

But in all these years, I have found no words,
To describe the Indescribable Unmanifest,
The I Am, when “I” am not,
Or to this Gift of Unimaginable Grace,
Here, in the Dream of manifestation,
My Companion, my Beloved… Myself?

It all remains, as do “I”, a Great Mystery…
Experienced, but beyond grasping,
To Which I pray ceaselessly,
In a Voice without sound,
The Shining Heart,
Speaking to Itself.