Dissolving


Dissolving
In the Ocean of the Great Mystery.
Abandoning both Liberation and Bondage,
For this Sublime Idiocy.


So many voices.
So many words.
So many teachings.
So many lineages.
So many orthodoxies.
All… emphatic in their assertions.

So many pundits.
So many gurus.
So many sat gurus.
So many avatars.

Shakti empowered psychopaths.
Blissless advaitans.
Scripture-bound dogmatists.
Merit-based attainers.

So wearying.

So much to be done,
And me, without discipline.

So much to be refrained from,
And me, so enjoying it all.

So much to read,
And me, with the attention span of a gnat.

So much to be understood,
And me, never grasping.

So much merit to be accrued,
And me, holding attainment in disdain.

One day, through Grace,
It finally happened…

I drowned in the din of voices,
Teachings, teachers,
Paths, lineages,
Prescriptions and proscriptions,
Attainment of “knowledge”,
Accrual of merit.

The mind floating, lifeless,
Adrift without words….
The Heart fallen down,
In Absolute Surrender.

Dissolving,
In the Ocean of the Great Mystery,
The Unknowable, the Unattainable.
Abandoning both Liberation and Bondage,
Abandoning “my” self, “my” Life…

No longer able to discern,
Word from word,
Concept from concept,
Theory from theory,
Conjecture from conjecture.

Hope long vanished, collapsed in despair,
Deafened by the cacophony of voices,
Blinded by the carnival of glamours,
Straining to remember the Taste of my Heart's Desire,
The Fragrance of the Beloved,
Her Ecstatic Touch…

Through the Unimagined Grace
Of Utter, Absolute Failure,
“I” quit.
Or should I say…
“I” was quit.

In Absolute Hopelessness,
In Absolute Despair,
With an exhausted last breath…

Absolute Surrender.

No enlightenment,
No realization,
No awakening,
No goal achieved,
Nothing understood,
No perfection attained.

Surrender.

And somehow,
Mysteriously,
Impossibly,
In that Quitting,
In that Surrender,
In that Giving Up…

Liberation, at last,
At last,
At last…
Not only from my self,
But from “Liberation”.

Everything abandoned,
Everything…
For this Sublime Idiocy