Cry Out!



I was not a good little boy.

If there is a Divine Mother,
Her ankles are scarred,
With innumerable bite marks.

Not the brightest of Her children,
But full of Sincerity and Longing,
I alternated between sorrow and rage.

I confess, my path was strange;
Kicking, screaming, biting,
And holding my breath…

In the faint hope of gaining Her attention.

I wandered for many long years,
Through the confusion of “beliefs”, and paths,
With each, falling ever more deeply into Despair.

I read of Heaven's Glory,
Of Nirvana's Inexpressible Sublimity,
Of “Enlightenment”, and “awakening”…

But Longed only for Love.

I read of doing this and not doing that,
And the use of will and discipline,
In practice and renunciation.

All of which broke my Heart,
And none of which I ever pursued.
For I knew, somehow, that what I sought…

Was Causeless Grace.

Neither created in conditionality,
Nor sustained through effort,
Nor dependent…

On anything whatsoever.

Do not deride, you who struggle and strive,
Saying I make excuses for laziness,
And hide in a delusional dream…

For you simply do not understand.

How Unimaginable it was,
Given all I had read, heard, and seen,
That crying out one day in the Fullness of Heart…

"How could You be so cruel?!"…

She gave me… Everything.

Not a perfected personality,
Not a life free of suffering,
But Her Presence Always…

In my Heart… the Garden of The Beloved.

Be incorrigible!
Cry out! Scream and Bite!
Then fall Helpless at Her feet…

And never rise.

If you are like this Prisoner of Love,
There will be no choice in the matter,
For even when Hope and Faith turn to dust…

Longing… will… endure.

This is the path I travelled,
And the Destination, Unlocatable,
In which I rest.

Unbearable Longing…

Unbearable Fulfillment.